Archive for January, 2010

hunk of the month

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

After a very long & intense Dungeon Board Meeting…in which actual boards were used, by the way …Mistress Heidi & I have decided that it is high time we institute an official Hunk of the Month section in the Dungeon sidebar.

Now, as you can see, we’ve already implemented this idea with a picture of my darling Dwayne.  Because he is & always will be our true 24/7/365 Hunk. But because he spends so much time occupied with…other endeavors in Mistress Heidi’s private chambers, it seems only fair that we offer you Darlings a chance to vote for your choice of Hunk of the Month.

On the last Sunday of each month, we will offer you four choices of hunk-a-doodle material, & you can choose who our official Hunk for the following month should be.

And since February is KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP’s release month, our first set of Hunk of the Month options are going to be hotties who could play Zack “Hot Legs” Hoolihan if the book were ever made into a film.

Ready?

Photobucket
Owen Wilson

Photobucket
Eric Stromer

Photobucket
this guy

Photobucket
this other guy

(hey, who said Hunks of the Month needed names?)

And then be sure to check back tomorrow to see who our Hunk of the Month turns out to be.

sexy Saturday

Saturday, January 30th, 2010

Only 3 MORE DAYS!!! until you can get your hands on a copy of KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP!

And so I give you Zack & Bruiser.  (Well, you know, if this were a Saint Bernard.  But it’s close, so use your imagination. )

Photobucket

a Friday funny

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Photobucket

Grace is just sorry she didn’t think of this…

billboard

KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP–the revenge mix

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

Only FOUR MORE DAYS (& a few random hours) until KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP arrives!

Whoo-hoo!

It’s not an easy wait, though, I know.

So to help you pass the time & get you even more in the mood for Grace & Zack’s stunning debut (he he he ) I thought I’d post a playlist of songs that I listened to while writing their story.  I’ve even linked a few to their videos on YouTube.

Some are definitely just for Grace, others just for Zack, & a few simply sum up their relationship in general. Oh, & there are even a couple in there for Bruiser!

Can you guess which are which?

“Before He Cheats” – Carrie Underwood

“Don’t Phunk with My Heart” – Black-Eyed Peas

“He Had it Comin’” from Chicago

“I Told You So” – Carrie Underwood (with Randy Travis)

“Blame it on Your Heart” – Patty Loveless

“Picture” – Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow

“Trouble” – P!nk

“War” – The Cardigans

“I Can’t Make You Love Me” – Bonnie Raitt

“Makin’ Whoopee” – Ella Fitzgerald

“The Dog Song” – Nellie McKay

“I Wonder Who’s Kissing Him Now” – Anne Murray

“Complicated” – Avril Lavigne

“Cruel to Be Kind” – Letters to Cleo (from 10 Things to Hate About You soundtrack)

“I Want You to Want Me” – Letters to Cleo (from 10 Things to Hate About You soundtrack)

“Respect” – Aretha Franklin

“I’ll Never Break Your Heart” – Backstreet Boys

“Don’t Wanna Lose You Now” – Backstreet Boys

“Bad Dog, No Biscuit” – Daron Norwood

“That’s My Story” – Collin Raye

“Ain’t No Sunshine” – Bill Withers

“Kung Fu Fighting” – Carl Douglas

“Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing” – Chris Isaak

“Somebody’s Crying” – Chris Isaak

“There She Goes” – The LAs

“The End of Everything” – Chris Isaak

“Bad Day” – Daniel Powter

“Not Ready to Make Nice” – Dixie Chicks

“My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)” – En Vogue

“Giving Him Something He Can Feel” – En Vogue

“Cry” – Faith Hill

“Found Out About You” – Gin Blossoms

“Hey Jealousy” – Gin Blossoms

“I Will Survive” – Gloria Gaynor

“Straight Tequila Night” – John Anderson

“Constant Craving” – k.d. lang

“Since U Been Gone” – Kelly Clarkson

“Because of You” – Kelly Clarkson

“Bitch” – Meredith Brooks

“Goodbye to You” – Michelle Branch

“Only the Lonely” – The Motels

“Unforgettable” – Natalie Cole (w/ Nat King Cole)

“If You Leave” – OMD

“This is How a Heart Breaks” – Rob Thomas

“Crash and Burn” – Savage Garden

“Sunny Came Home” – Shawn Colvin

“First Cut is the Deepest” – Sheryl Crow

“If You Don’t Know Me by Now” – Simply Red

“The Tracks of My Tears” – Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

“Tainted Love” – Soft Cell

“I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow” – The Soggy Bottom Boys

“What’s Love Got to Do With It” – Tina Turner

“I Don’t Wanna Fight” — Tina Turner

“Un-Break My Heart” – Toni Braxton

“Give Me One Reason” – Tracy Chapman

“Restless Heart” – Peter Cetera

“I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues” – Elton John

“These Foolish Things” – Rod Stewart

“Can’t Stop Loving You” – Phil Collins

“All By Myself” – Celine Dion

“You and I” – Celine Dion

“Thunder Rolls” – Garth Brooks (extended version, of course)

“Extraordinary” – Liz Phair

“Heart of the Matter” – Don Henley

“If You’re Gone” — Matchbox Twenty

“Songs Like This” – Carrie Underwood


And are there any you think I missed?

KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP–the benched scene

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Word of the Week: ex-hole — Your asshole ex-husband, ex-boyfriend or just plain ex. A phrase used to refer to that person you used to date but now can’t stand.

Photobucket

As usual before the release of a new book, I like to post an excerpt or deleted scene from the story, if one is available.  And you know there are only FIVE-odd DAYS LEFT before KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP comes out!

If you don’t believe me, just ask the Countdown Clock.

So today I’m going to share a snippet of story that didn’t make it into the final book.  Apparently because it was just a tad too bloodthirsty.  Yeah, well, we all know where I stand on that issue.

But even if this part of the scene got cut, I sure did have fun writing it—& I hope you have fun reading it.  Just don’t hold any of Grace’s actions here against her.  Remember, she has issues.

“Hey! Sleeping Beauty!” she called, more loudly this time. And instead of touching his bare skin with her bare skin, she lifted a leg a la Ralph Macchio in The Karate Kid to poke him in the hip with the tip of her hot pink and glittery white Sketcher.

“Wake.” Poke. “Up.” Poke-poke. “You lazy.” Kick. “Ass.” Shove.

By the last, she was pressing almost full-forced against the meaty side of his left buttock with the entire flat of her shoe and starting to breathe hard.

Good lord, was he even alive? she wondered crossly. How could anyone sleep so heavily that they didn’t budge when somebody was literally whomping them in the butt?

Rounding the end of the bed, she hunkered down and leaned on the mattress to bring her face nearly nose to nose with his.

Was he breathing?

She stuck two fingers under his nostrils and felt for air.

Hmm. She couldn’t tell, but his lips weren’t blue, which she took as a good sign.

Was his chest moving?

Lifting her head, she watched for a minute and thought she saw his back shift up and down ever so slightly, but couldn’t quite tell about that, either.

All right, time for the Nurse Betty routine.

Canting herself sideways over the bed again, she lifted one of his eyelids to study his pupil, while at the same time reaching for his wrist to feel for a pulse.

The pulse was a definite, thank goodness, but the eye . . . well, she didn’t know what the hell she was looking for, anyway.

Doing one show about CPR and watching three seasons of ER didn’t exactly make her a paramedic.

“Hey, Zack!” she tried in a near-shout.

Seriously, how he couldn’t be plugging his ears or pulling a pillow over his head by now, she’d never know.

He gave a sudden short snort, startling her into dropping his eyelid and jumping back. But when he turned back into Coma Boy almost immediately, she scowled, huffing in frustration, and decided that–come Hell, high water, or an elephant gun–she was going to wake him and get him out of this bed.

“Yo, dickhead!” she yelled and gave the cheek not glued to the mattress a light slap.

Ooh, that felt good.

Slap. A little harder this time. “Wake up. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”

She kept repeating it, practically breaking into song and punctuating each request with a smack just a bit sharper than the last.

He groaned, his brow furrowing in confusion even as his eyes remained closed.

“Oh, Zaaaa-aaaack.” This time, she lowered her voice and whispered his name seductively. Then gave him a nice slap.

He he, this was kind of fun. Maybe she didn’t want him to wake up. She could happily spend the rest of the day lying here, slapping the crap out of him.

She was really getting into it, smacking out a little ditty to the tune of Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” when he began to squint. And squirm. And curse beneath his breath, if all the grumbling gurgles were any indication.

“Whata hellif gona?”

Which she took to mean, What the hell is going on?

To be continued…FEBRUARY 2nd!!!

Grace & Zack get good, bad, & ugly

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Grace Fisher & Zack “Hot Legs” Hoolihan join us again this week for one final chat before their story, KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP, comes out.

But rather than write up something special—since they seem to have a bit of trouble with compromise —they asked me to post some snippets from past “Chicks with Sticks” books that sum up the rise & fall of their relationship.

To that end, I give you The Good…The Bad…& The Ugly.

THE GOOD
(from Tangled Up in Love)

Then there was Grace Fisher, Cleveland’s hometown cross between Oprah Winfrey and Martha Stewart. She had her own cable talk show that covered everything from gripping emotional family dramas to making a cake in the shape of a porcupine. She’d even been nicknamed “Amazing Grace” because of her versatility and lack of any apparent faults whatsoever.

Grace was currently engaged to Dylan’s friend, Zack, who played goalie for Cleveland’s professional hockey team, the Rockets. The two had met at a charity hockey event where Zack first hit a puck over the protective plexiglass shield straight into Grace’s skull. Then after she’d been bandaged and examined by the team’s physician, Zack had proceeded to fly off the ice and knock her flat on her rear.

What could have been touted as the most embarrassing moment of Zack’s career had instead become his and Grace’s answer to the question of how they first met. Dylan himself had heard the story going on about six thousand times now.

THE BAD
(from Loves Me, Loves Me Knot)

Grace reapplied her lip gloss–the clear, wild cherry flavor Zack liked so much–and ran her fingers through her hair to boost the light blond curls. Then, pasting on her most seductive Marilyn Monroe pout, she tapped on Zack’s hotel room door.

It took longer than she would have expected for him to answer, so she tapped again. She heard a couple of muffled noises and a muttered curse in response, and had to bite back a laugh.

If she knew Zack–and she did–the room was probably a disaster area already, after his being there only one night, and he was probably tripping over his own shoes, pants, shirts, suitcase, and everything else in an attempt to answer her repeated knocking.

When he finally opened the door, however, she was startled not by his messy living habits, but by how incredible he looked half-naked, still dripping from the shower, with only a modest, white towel clutched around his hips.

Oh, yes, there was a reason she’d fallen in love with this man.

More than one, she supposed, but at the moment it was his incredible physique that stood foremost in her mind.

He blinked and ran his fingers through his wet hair.

“Hey,” he said somewhat distractedly, obviously struggling to make sense of her sudden appearance. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you think I’m doing here?” she replied, her grin widening as she took a step into the room and sidled up to him. She pressed herself against his tall, solid frame, uncaring of his dampness soaking into her clothes. “I came to rock your world, big boy.”

At that, his lips curled and a devilish light brightened his blue eyes. “Well, okay, then. Come on in. Don’t mind the mess,” he said, shifting them both so the door could swing closed.

“I never do,” she replied with a chuckle.

What he’d done to the hotel room was nothing compared to the state of his apartment back in Cleveland. If he didn’t have Magda, his housekeeper, to come in a couple times a week and clean up, Grace swore the place would be declared uninhabitable. And she put up with that, didn’t she?

All right, so she tended to pick up his socks and wipe down a few surfaces any time she was over, but otherwise she thought she tolerated his Pigpen lifestyle fairly well.

Pulling away slightly, she leaned back against the wall running between the bathroom and the rest of the suite. She raked him from head to toe with a hot gaze, using two manicured nails to tug at the towel he was still holding low on his hips.

“I think I’m overdressed,” she murmured saucily.

His lashes fluttered as he returned the head-to-toe scrutiny, causing her nipples to pucker beneath her bra and a warm longing to gather between her legs.

“I should say so,” he replied in a low, suggestive tone. “You need any help remedying that fact?”

“Oh, I think I can handle it,” she teased.

Slipping away from the wall, she continued to face him as she walked backwards into the main area of the room. Step by slow step, while her fingers worked to free the buttons running down the front of her blouse.

Her heel caught on something and she glanced down to find herself standing in one of the leg holes of a pair of discarded BVDs.

“Nice,” she said, shaking her foot and kicking the briefs aside.

As she lifted her head, something in her peripheral vision caught her attention. A movement, a flash of pink.

Focusing her gaze, she turned her head the rest of the way and zeroed in on a woman sitting in the center of the king size bed, back against the headboard, naked except for a matching lollipop pink bra and panty set.

Grace blinked. The blond–bleach blond with dark roots, not professionally salon blond in keeping up with her natural hair color the way Grace did–shifted nervously, dragging the sheet up to cover what Grace had already had the misfortune to see.

Turning her attention back to Zack, she speared him with look that should have shriveled his testicles and had him running like a girl.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?” she asked, her previously sultry tone replaced with icicles sharp enough to kill.

Zack’s pale brows knit. “Huh?”

Oh, he was good. He had the dumb jock routine down pat.

She cocked her head to the right, indicating the bimbo still snuggled up in his bed. Zack followed her the movement with his eyes, and darned if he didn’t go a few shades paler.

Finding herself suddenly the center of his full attention, the woman climbed to her knees and let the sheet drop. “Hi,” she said with a too-sweet smile. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Zack snapped.

Grace knew he was addressing the woman in his bed, but she was the first to answer. “You know, I was just asking myself the same question.”

Fingers flying, she rebuttoned her blouse, then charged for the door, pushing past Zack before he had a chance to stop her.

THE UGLY
(also from Loves Me, Loves Me Knot)

You.

That one syllable was spoken so low and with so much venom, she was surprised she didn’t die of odium poisoning right there on the spot. As it was, her skin did tingle and her pulse did kick up a beat.

Of course, that could have just as easily been attributed to the matching fury rolling through her own soul.

Slowly and very carefully, she set aside what she was doing and turned in her chair to smile pleasantly up at a red-faced Zackary Hoolihan. He towered over her, chest heaving. He looked angry enough to spit nails, and she was frankly surprised steam didn’t pour out of his ears.

Dylan stood on his left, just behind Ronnie’s chair, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Gage stood on his right, looking . . . well, like Gage. Sort of big, intimidating, and expressionless. Between them, Zack put her in mind of Yosemite Sam, hopping around and blustering like a crazy person.

It wasn’t easy, but she managed to bite back the grin that threatened to spread across her face.

“Are you addressing moi?” she asked in a voice so sweet, it nearly blew out her pancreas.

“Damn right, I’m addressing you, Little Miss Smart-Ass,” Zack snapped. “You killed my car.”

“Excuse me?” Her eyes went wide in practiced innocence.

“You. Killed. My. Car.” He enunciated each word, spitting them through gritted teeth before resting both hands on the back of her chair and leaning in until they were nearly nose to nose. “You destroyed my Hummer.”

“Your Hummer?” she asked in a voice she was pretty sure Shirley Temple had used in every one of her adorable little movies. “Did something happen to that big red beast?”

Zack stood back once again, but a vein had begun to throb at his temple and she thought he might be at serious risk of popping an embolism.

Good. It would serve him right, the jerk.

“You know goddamn well something happened to it. You happened to it. You broke into the parking garage at my apartment complex not two hours ago and destroyed my fucking Hummer!”

Grace placed one long index finger against her cheek, wishing now that she’d made a point of stopping at the salon before tonight’s meeting. A beautifully manicured nail would be just the thing to show Zack that she was doing fine with out him. That she didn’t care how many silicone-boobed puck bunnies he boffed.

Batting her lashes and pulling her mouth into a sympathetic pucker, she used her best Betty Boop impression to say, “But I thought you said it was indestructible.”

If possible, Zack’s face mottled an even darker shade of red. His eyes were so round, they were practically solid white with only pinpricks of blue at the pupils, and he looked ready to explode.

And that, my Darlings, is about the best refresher you’re going to get aside from holding KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP in your hot little hands.

Grace & Zack have also agreed to answer any pressing questions you might have for them.  Nothing that will spoil the book, mind you, but anything else you might like to know before jumping into their story.

So let the inquisition begin!

Grace vs. Zack

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Photobucket

It’s not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.

I’ve been on a calendar, but I’ve never been on time.

I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

Photobucket

Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
~Doug Larson

Photobucket

Hockey players wear numbers because you can’t always identify the body with dental records.
~anonymous

Photobucket

Party like a hockey player. Because rock stars are overrated.

and the winners are…

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

Apologies for not doing this last week, when I was technically supposed to.   But better late than never, right?

scan0002

So we have got some winners to announce for the Are You a Heidi Betts Street Walker? Giveaway!

The prize, of course, is two ARCs (Advance Reading Copy) of Grace & Zack’s story, KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP.  (Due in stores next Tuesday, FEBRUARY 2nd in case you hit your head & developed amnesia!!! )  One to an “old” Street Walker, one to a “new” Street Walker.  (Yeah, yeah, insert hooker jokes here. *snork*)

And so, for the copy that goes to one of our older, more experienced Street Walkers:

MySpace Smiley Sign Generator

Erin!!!

And for the copy that goes to one of our new Street Team members:

MySpace Smiley Sign Generator

Redlorelei (aka Jennifer)!!!

Congratulations, ladies!  Please contact me with your mailing information so I can get your ARCs of KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP in the mail post haste!

Thank you to everyone who signed up to hit the streets & promote my books this time around, & to everyone who’s been part of my wonderful Street Team from the very beginning.  (Even before we gave it a name. *g*)  Keep doing what you do, & stay tuned for even more fun giveaways coming to The Dungeon in the future.

sexy Saturday

Saturday, January 23rd, 2010

Although not as sexy as some of the other guys I’ve posted as could-be Zacks, I have to admit that one celebrity I occasionally envision for him is Owen Wilson.

Yes, it’s the blond hair & the crooked smile, but also the great sense of humor. Because as we all know, Zack can be a cut-up.  (And sliding around on that ice with a big…stick *snicker* I’m sure his nose has been broken a few times, too. )

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

a Friday funny

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Photobucket

flyer

all Dwayne all the time

Thursday, January 21st, 2010

This has nothing to do with anything, especially not KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP, but it just felt like a good day to post some fun stuff about my darling Dwayne.  You know, because I love him & cannot resist…

(Thanks to Darlings Laura & Becke for sending these.  P.S. You’re allowed to laugh, but not to lust.  Mistress Heidi has spoken. )

recommended viewing

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

bb Pictures, Images and PhotosWord of the Week: Bunny Boiler — Taken from the Glenn Close character in Fatal Attraction, who boiled her married lover’s daughter’s pet rabbit after he broke up with her.  The person who wants some kind of revenge or becomes a stalker after a relationship comes to an end.

Photobucket

Are you looking for a way to fill the long, interminable days until KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP is released?

Me, too!  Well, never fear.  Mistress Heidi & I have compiled a list of wonderful films you can rent or buy or…yeah, we know our Darlings—pull them out of your own personal DVD collections …wile away the hours & get you even more in the mood for Grace & Zack’s smackdown.

Or do I mean ? *g*

So here they are.  A few of the films that inspired Grace to go postal on Zack’s poor, innocent Hummer:

Chicago

Fatal Attraction

Double Jeopardy

She-Devil

Unfaithful

10 Things I Hate About You

Desperado

Liar Liar

What Lies Beneath

Practical Magic

Can you think of any I may have missed?

an interview with Grace & Zack

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

Happy Tuesday, everyone. I am very pleased to welcome back our guests this month, Grace Fisher & Zack “Hot Legs” Hoolihan, stars of the upcoming wonderful, fabulous KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP.

So while we’ve got them on the ice, so to speak, I thought we’d slap shot them a few fun & compelling questions.

What’s your favorite pastime?

Grace:  Knitting.

Zack:  Hockey, of course.

Grace: [with a snort]  Yeah, because you’re obviously so very good at it.

Zack:  [scowling]  Hey, I am good at it.  Star goalie, remember?  Stanley Cup three years in a row, thankyouverymuch.

Grace:  Well, now that you’ve messed up your knee, the only cup you’ll be scoring this season is a Big Gulp from the local Seven-Eleven.

Favorite sport?

Zack:  [still scowling]  Hockey.

Grace:  [smirking]  Baseball.

Favorite song?

Grace: “He Had it Comin’” from the Broadway musical Chicago.  “The Thunder Rolls” by Garth Brooks—the long version, of course.  “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)” by Funky Divas.  Oh, and “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood.

Zack: [crossing his arms over his chest and slumping in his seat, muttering] “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne.

Tell us about Bruiser, the adorable Saint Bernard you rescued from a local animal shelter.

Grace:  Actually, it’s Muffin now.

Zack:  Oh, no it’s not.  His name is Bruiser.

Grace:  [with a smile]  It’s Muffin.  Really.

Zack:  His name is Bruiser, not Muffin.  No male dog of mine is going to walk around with a name like Muffin, for God’s sake.

Grace:  Good thing he’s not your dog anymore, then, hm?

Okay, okay, I see that’s a touchy subject.  Let’s move on.

Grace, you mentioned that you like to knit.  When did you learn, and what are you working on at the moment?

Grace:  My grandmother taught me after I came to live with her.  I was probably eleven or twelve.  And I’m not working on much of anything at the moment.  More like… [shifts uncomfortably] unraveling a project I started a while back.

Zack, we hear a couple of your male friends have recently learned to knit.  Have you ever given the yarn and needles a shot?

Zack:  No.

Really?  Not even—

Zack:  No. Next question.

I know this is another sensitive topic, but after a very public and longstanding romance, the two of you recently broke up.  Can you tell us why?

Zack:  It’s kind of personal and complicated, but—

Grace:  It’s not complicated.  It’s actually quite simple.  He’s a cheating bastard who couldn’t keep it in his pants, but did think I’d never find out as long as he stuck to screwing puck bunnies while the Rockets were on the road.

Zack: [grinding his teeth] I’ve told you a million times, I did not sleep with that woman.

Grace:  Right.  She was naked in your bed because that’s what hotels leave on the pillows these days instead of mints.

Um… Is there any chance you’ll be getting back together?

Zack & Grace:  [together, emphatically]  No.

Photobucket

All right. Well. That was very…enlightening.

Thank you so much, Zack & Grace, for being with us again today.  I’m sure we’re all looking forward to your third & final visit next week, as well at the full behind-the-scenes story when KNOCK ME FOR A LOOP hits the shelves February 2nd.

Remember, everyone, that Grace & Zack with be with us again next week, TUESDAY, JANUARY 26, 2010.  If you’ve got any questions or are curious about their story, I’m sure they’ll be happy to chat with you then.  You know, if they haven’t killed each other by then.

Grace vs. Zack

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Photobucket

I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful.

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.

Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.

Photobucket

High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating. ~anonymous

Photobucket

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.
~Gordie Howe

Photobucket

If you’re dating a hockey player raise your hands.

If you’re not, raise your standards.

super Sunday (Murphy’s Law edition)

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Murphys Law Schoolhouserock Pictures, Images and PhotosDid you ever have one of those days?  One of those weeks?  One of those months?

I’m thinking I may be caught in a loop of “one of those lifetimes.”

Yeah, yeah.  Nothing major, just those minor annoyances that remind you Murphy is always watching & waiting for an opportunity to trip you up, then sit back & laugh his sadistic ass off.

So here’s a rundown of some of my recent Murphy’s Law experiences:

Incident #1 — Picture it. Winter 2009 in Central Pennsylvania.  Snow begins to fall. The temperature drops like a stone.  I dig out my favorite coat, the warm & snuggly lavender one that I just love. Okay, so it’s my only winter coat, but who’s splitting hairs.  I find my hat.  I find my gloves.  I cannot find my scarf.

Now, I have to have my scarf. For one thing, the pretty lavender coat doesn’t have much of a collar, so my neck gets cold.  For another, remember that recent jaw surgery I had where they put titanium plates in my face? Yeah, well, when when cold hits those, it’s like sticking ice cubes on my cheeks—in zero-degree weather—so I’ve gotta have something to hide behind.   For yet another, this coat is one of those odd, hard-to-match colors & only one scarf in existence matches it…the scarf Madame Mommy Dearest knit for me with her own two little hands.  And she got caught up in the movie she was watching while working on it, so she knit until she ran out of yarn & we joke that most people wear boa-like scarves, but mine is an anaconda.    So there’s sentimentality attached to it.

But not matter how long or hard I searched, I could not find the stinking thing.  So what did I do? I went out & bought another coat.  And I like it.  It’s not lavender, but turns out I look even better in chocolate brown.   Plus, animal print accessories look awesome with dark brown.  But when I came home with my new coat & started digging through my box of gloves & scarves to find the aforementioned animal print things I knew I already had, what do you think I found?

YES!!!!  That ^&$! anaconda scarf to go with my old lavender coat.  Oh, you just had to know—even though I’d gone through that box once already looking for it!  (It wasn’t there before, I swear! )

I’m torn now over whether to keep wearing the new coat I kinda like or go back to the old one just because I threw such a fit about not being able to find that stupid scarf.  Maybe I’ll take turns.

Incident #2 — It’s time to disconnect my old computer & lug it in so that all my info can be transferred over to the new one.  I backed up everything, got all my ducks in a row.  Only fly in the ointment was that the writing program that comes with Windows 7 is WordPerfect 4 & I’m used to MSWord.  (2007, I think, but who the heck knows.)  Okay, no problem, they tell me; if I bring my original set-up software, they can re-install Word for me.  Yay!

But do you think I could find that disc?  OF COURSE NOT!!!  I found PrintShop…& the one for my old external zip drive…& the one for my current external hard drive…& a bunch of old, crappy game programs I don’t think I’ve ever used & never will. *sigh*

And just as suspected, I’m pretty sure I hate WP4.  I want my beloved Word back!  But when I went in search of the disc yet again, did I find it?  No, I found one for Word 2002.  I swear if I can’t find Word 2007 soon, I’m either installing that one or investing in Word 2010 because I’m afraid to add any new text or mess with any of my current documents with only WP4.  It will change the type of files they are & then I’ll have the devil’s own time converting them back to my beloved Word.  (Did I mention I really love Word?  And also that I don’t handle change well? )

PhotobucketIncident #3 — Let’s just title this one “Lost & Found.”  (No, not my flipping Word 2007 installation disc.  I wish! )

Remember a few months ago when I was on a roll catching up with MaryJanice Davidson’s “Betsey” books?  Yeah, well, I wanted to keep going with those, but couldn’t find the next title in the series to save my soul.  Oh, I had it.  Have it.  Knew I did.  And I looked everywhere.  So I’m out on my freaking freezing enclosed front porch looking for…yeah, the Word 2007 start-up disc *snork*…when guess what I found?!?  Yup, the MJD book.  In a box I had looked through once before.  Swear I did.  I remember doing it.  I remember half of the books that were in there, right next to the MJD one. *double sigh*

So don’t be surprised if you spot me reading that one soon, now that I’ve located the darn thing.

And Incident #3a would be that I lost my brand new brown leather gloves…you know, the ones that go with the brand new brown (not leather, but possibly faux suede *snork*) coat while I was out & about on Friday.  One minute, I had them on my hands, the next I realized they were gone.  Actually had to retrace my steps…& not just in one place, but all around town.  Found them in an acquaintance’s driveway, wet & muddy from being run over by the car.  Oh, yeah, bring it on, Murphy!  They have since been gently cleaned & dried, &don’t seem to be too much worse for the wear.  They did come out a little darker than before, but that actually helps them match the coat a bit better, if you can believe it.

So that’s a rundown of recent events in my life, as well as my recent run-ins with Mr. Murphy & his blasted law.    What’s new in yours?