Mistress Heidi likes this one. *vbg*
“The Black Bra” (as sadly told by a wife)
Last week, I had lunch with two of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20-plus years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels, and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here’s how it all went…
My engaged friend: “The other night my boyfriend came over and found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos, and a mask. He saw me and said, 
‘You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.’ Then we kissed all night long.
The mistress: Me, too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, and mask under a raincoat. When I opened the coat, he didn’t say a word, but we had a wild time all night.
Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home, I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos, and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, “What’s for dinner, Batman?”
LOL!!! Poor wife…I guess the way to go is the way of the bad girl…hahahaahha!!!
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Kind of reminds me of the saran wrap incident from the movie Fried Green Tomatoes. Poor woman is trying to seduce her husband and makes that dress out of saran wrap…only to have the jerk off lecture her on propriety when he sees her in the get up. I love that movie!
*snort* They kissed all night? Good lovin’ there tiger…
Anyway…Let’s just say there’s a reason I get pregnant so often. There’s also a reason I write romance novels. My husband is the hottest man alive, and he would not call me bat girl.
Batman…that is hysterical.
Maisey, the Burger King scares the crap out of me too!
Heidi your funny,,, where do you find em????I loved it……..if my hubby said that to me I’d show him batman, I’d use the baseball bat (that I keep in my car for a weapon) on his head. I got the idea for the baseball bat from the movie Walkin Tall (he was a deputy sherrif and that was his weapon of choice.)
Hey–Batman has some really *awesome* toys. Maybe the wife should have pulled out one or two of those to get his attention!
I have to say that I wouldn’t mind if my hubby called me Batgirl, but Batman is pushing it. Like Barb, I think I’d get violent.
And Maisey, you know they make medications for that now. All the fun, none of the babies.
LOL!!! You guys crack me up. I am not sure what my husband would do. Fall over from shock.
I’ve heard of that stuff, Heidi! :-) No, see, somehow, we’ve managed to use it, yeah, even the *99.9% accurate medication and still have children!! Okay, just the one child is a birth control baby, the other one and 3/4 were intentional.
And our dear honeymood baby we wouldn’t trade, so in the end, you just have to be glad the birth control failed.
*side note, I was part of the first round of low dose BC pill ladies. Since then, they found out the low dose, in it’s original incarnation, was only 50% effective.
I have a few friends with babies brought to them by Yasmine.
LOL on the toys. She should have just looked at him and said, ‘would you like to ride with batman?’
I love that joke!! we call each other Batman at work all the time now!! snork!
Yeah, I could see my husband calling me batman. I can also see him knocked up side his head for saying it too.
It’s been a rough couple of days for me so I need a good laugh.
B’girl is in a soft cast until Tuesday when they put her in a boot for a couple of weeks. I’m feeling like a bad mom because she’s had this pain in her foot for about 4 months. She barely complained and has been doing gymnastics on it all this time. Off of it for 2 weeks at least.
Awww…hope she feels better soon.
Laura J…You are a bad mom…..Just kidding. poor b’day girl I feel bad for her… hope it gets well quick….have a good weekend all. I am off to see Scott Hamilton ice skating show with proceeds going to Cleveland Clinic. He was treated there several times for cancer and is skating at age 51 thanks to the great Doctors at the Clinic. They all come and sit in the front row and then have a fancy $200.00 a plate dinner following the show. Should be great.
4 days till Mistress Heidi’s Birthday and
12 more till mine but I quit counting so mine does not count…
Oooh…you can quit counting? I want to stay this age…or go back to last year.
Laura, my youngest son got out of the house and went to the elementary school across the street a couple weeks ago. In the rain. In only a diaper. Trust me, you’re not a bad mom.
I agree with Maisey. A bad mom wouldn’t take their kid to the doc even if they were screaming & crying about being in pain. But you can’t know how serious something is if they act like it’s nothing more than an annoying mosquito bite.
Thanks everyone. I don’t think I would feel so bad if well…she has her first gymnastics meet in 2 weeks and we could have went sooner. I really didn’t think it would be much, but HA! on me. Her practice meet scores were really good, so now I wonder what they’ll be when she gets better.
Maisey, I had picked 28 as my age, but B’girl said I couldn’t be 28 because you can’t have kids in your 20s. She says I’m 32.
Plus you know if you pick one age and stick with it, you don’t have to remember a new age every year. Saves brain cells.
can’t have kids in your twenties huh? *snerk* what am I doing then?
And really, Laura, you did the right thing taking her, and it’s tough to know when to take them to the doc. Inevitably you go a bunch when you don’t need to, and probably miss some times when you should.
Maisey–B’girls two older brothers were born during my 20s, I think there may be some kind of denial that they are really her brothers.
The girl is eating up all the attention she’s getting. Me I’m not quite as stressed as I was (thanks all for letting gripe).
The sad thing is when I worked in the ER the things people would bring their kids in for. After the toothaches failed to score them pain killers, if they had kids they would try to pass off all sorts of ailments. Fortunately we had really good ER docs that knew when things weren’t right.
Oh gosh, some guy…ahem…sorry…bastard…in our town broke his daughter’s arm and brought her to the hospital and scored himself pain killers. And his face was all over the papers. I hope someone punched it in later. So sad to know it happens a lot.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart!! thats for sure!!! now im wondering if i win worst parent award for not getting my girly the pigflu vaccine!!
so Laura..dont worry! and hopefully she wont throw this in your face when shes a teenager!!!LOLOL
No, above jerkwad who harmed his child on purpose wins worst parent award. We’re all better than that.
You are right Maisey! they should neuter him and take away this child and any others he may have!!
My nominee for worst parent ever:
http://insession.blogs.cnn.com/2009/11/05/iowa-mom-guilty-in-sons-death/
Maybe I’m not a very nice person…I don’t know. I always think those kinds of people ought to have a little eye for an eye visited on them.
I agree with you, Maisey.
Here’s the secret to staying young, girls.
I no longer have birthdays. Instead, I celebrate anniversaries. You know, like this year will be the 16th anniversary of my 25th birthday.
There ya go! That’s a good idea. I may have to follow it. I didn’t think I would be one of those people who had aging issues but they really slapped me in the butt last year. Not in a good way.