May « 2009 « WIPs and Chains

Archive for May, 2009

super Sunday

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Good morning, everybody! Hope you’re all enjoying a lovely, lazy Sunday.

I am pleased to say that I have a lot to be feeling super about this week, but I can’t really talk about it yet, so you’re just going to have to wait for the 4-1-1.

In the meantime, however, I’ve got prizes to hand out from last week’s “What Would You Do…?” May giveaway—a set of THE WRITE INGREDIENTS: Recipes from Your Favorite Authors, edited by Lori Foster, & BEYOND HEAVING BOSOMS: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels by Sarah Wendell & Candy Tan.

Ready?

Hollie!!!

Congratulations, Hollie! You win because your answer was not only short & succinct, but also embodied the spirit of The Dungeon & Mistress Heidi’s wicked sense of humor. Another acceptable answer would have been “Anything I want.”

Please contact me with your mailing information & I’ll get your prize sent out to you as soon as I can.

Thank you to everyone for playing along, & also for the little side notes & private e-mails you sent telling me these were the most fun giveaways you’d ever participated in. Mistress Heidi & I are very happy to hear it, & we’ll try our best to hold more in the future.

In addition, I’ll say that I’m quite thankful today that my Darlings of the Dungeon are so laid back that you let me get away with celebrating Memorial Day a week late—at least according to the “observed” holiday—giving me a chance to post some extra Funnies & Sexies.

And also, I’m very happy that the new season of Burn Notice will be starting soon. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve missed my adorable Michael Westin.

How about the rest of you? Anything you’re grateful for this week that you’d like to share?

Posted in Drink of the Month, Super Sunday | 9 Comments »

sexy Saturday

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

Posted in Sexy Saturday | 9 Comments »

a Friday funny

Friday, May 29th, 2009

Since today is the start of the true Memorial Day weekend, I went in search of some Memorial Day/political Friday Funnies. But I got all distracted by these instead…

(But only to get the hot firefighters over to my house! )

Wait, wait, this one sorta counts…

And this one…

And definitely this one…

Posted in Friday funny, easily amused | 8 Comments »

name that…quote?

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

Okay, I have been sitting on this idea for a very long time. Mostly because it took me a while to gather my ammunition.

But you know what a television & movie fanatic I am, right? And you guys are, too. Go ahead, you can admit it. You’re safe here; no one will judge you. Well, we will, but that’s all part of The Dungeon’s appeal.

So, anyway, I thought I would post a handful of movie & television quotes, then see if you can identify what film or show they came from. (Bonus points if you can name which character(s) actually spoke the line, which episode the quote is from, or what the scene was about when the words were uttered, but it’s not necessary. And you were that good, I probably would start to worry that you needed to get out more—even though that would be kind of like the pot calling the kettle black.

Oh, & here’s a hint. Unless I just happened to stumble across something amusing, these are most likely going to be from movies & TV shows I watch & enjoy. So, you know…that narrows it down to about eight or nine thousand options.

All right, put your couch potato caps on & let’s begin…

#1 — “You have to tell him the truth.”

“Maybe. But not until I’m absolutely sure lying won’t work.”

#2 — “You’re insane.”

“I prefer the term ‘visionary.’”

#3 — “All right, Ace, you win. I know when I’ve been licked.”

“Oh, so last night is coming back to you.”

#4 — “I’m just going to go into the kitchen to get some food—and then I’m going to tell you a story that will make your balls shrink to the size of raisins.”

#5 — “Mudslide kills 600 religious pilgrims. And yet both of my ex-wives live on.”

#6 — “I was born a poor black child.”

#7 — “Okay, but I hope you never have to feel what I’m feeling right now, & when you do, I hope it hurts.”

#8 — “Never been to Maine before, huh?”

“Well, I have good hygiene. I’m not welcome.”

#9 — “Okay, Rule #1—don’t say ‘oodles’ unless it’s followed by ‘noodles’.”

#10 — “Some of you may die, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

So can you name those quotes? I’ll reveal the answers only after you’ve wracked your brains for a good, long while.

Posted in Uncategorized | 12 Comments »

what would you do…?

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

Word of the Week: Marathoning — Watching an entire season of a TV series in a short period of time, especially if you are watching it in one sitting.

(For example: There is nothing I enjoy more than marathoning Firefly. )

~~~

Today is our fourth & final What Would You Do…? giveaway.

The prize this week is a set of fun, romance-related non-fiction titles—THE WRITE INGREDIENTS: Recipes from Your Favorite Authors, edited by Lori Foster, & BEYOND HEAVING BOSOMS: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels by Sarah Wendell & Candy Tan.

The question this week is:

What would you do if you really were trapped in The Dungeon with one of Mistress Heidi’s hunky henchmen for a night?

Or a week?

Or a month?

Nothing too graphic please…you know my delicate virgin ears can’t take it.

U.S. residents only, please, for the giveaway, but everyone is welcome to toss their answers into the toy box!

~~~

As for last week’s giveaway of a third & final autographed copy of Carla Neggers’s The Angel…

Barb!!!

Because lord knows I could use some back-up in the kitty care department, & that would keep Mistress Heidi happy, as well.

Congratulations, Barb! Please contact me with your mailing information so I can get your book out to you.

And a few of you came in very close to winning this week (Lyn, Bonia…& Jane, Mistress Heidi especially enjoyed your answer. ), so I hope you’ll all take another stab at this week’s question & final May giveaway!

~~~

P.S. Don’t forget that I’m holding also holding a final May giveaway over at Must Love Yarn today, so drop by for a chance to win another very fun prize!

Posted in Must Love Yarn, Word of the Week, giveaway | 12 Comments »

it’s a theme thing

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

So I’ve come up with what I think is another one of my brilliant ideas…

Theme Weeks in The Dungeon!

What I mean by this is that I would pick one week a month to “decorate” The Dungeon accordingly & then make every post about that “theme.” (We may have to work around the occasional guest blogger if we can’t convince them to play along, but otherwise I think it’s totally do-able.)

Some theme ideas I came up with are Bitch Week, Ninja Week, Cat Week, Dog Week, Chocolate Week, Chinese (& various other cultures, I’m sure) Week, etc. We can even pick TV shows, movies, & celebrities as themes. (Hmm, I can picture it now: Dwayne Week. Me thinks me likes. )

And I will definitely be looking for suggestions from you guys on which themes we should celebrate, so pull on your thinking caps.

But if we do this, you have to be ready for theme-related posts all week long…& these could be pictures or jokes or videos, or just me waxing poetic…whatever I can find.

And…you have to be ready to play along. By that, I mean that if we’re holding Spanish week, you’re going to have to throw some Spanish into your comments & maybe do a bit of a flamenco dance instead instead of a Snoopy dance when you’re happy. Or if we’re doing, say, Sesame Street Week, you have to share your fondest Sesame Street memories, name your favorite Sesame Street character, etc.

So here’s a poll to track your thoughts on the subject. Let me know what you think!

Posted in poll | 8 Comments »

happy memorial day

Monday, May 25th, 2009

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

super Sunday

Sunday, May 24th, 2009

With the exception of a few minor annoyances here & there, I’ve had a good week, with much to be grateful for. How about you guys?

First of all, I finished my RITA books & got the score sheet in the mail with time to spare! Whoo-hoo! Having to read under pressure always makes me nervous & I don’t mind admitting I was worried about being able to get through so many books in such a short amount of time. But I did it! And they were pretty good, too.

I also have to admit that I am so glad the current television season is coming to a close. Man, it’s been hard to keep up! Granted, I love all my shows, otherwise I wouldn’t watch them, but space on my DVRs has been tight & it’s been quite a job to try to keep up & get ahead of all the new episodes. Now that the season is over, though, I’ll hopefully be able to catch up & even maybe, just maybe watch a bit of live TV & repeats (or marathons, thank you very much!) of beloved shows. (Of course, it will start all over again in the Fall. *sigh*)

I’m still working on my novella…check out the “Under the Whip-o-Meter”; I’m actually making progress—whoot-whoot! …but it’s a little more slow-going than I’d like. Maybe because I’ve also been working on a couple Silhouette Desire ideas.

I told you I haven’t been able to get them out of my head, so I worked up a couple of short synopses & sent them to my agent. He liked them & is planning to send them on, so we’ll see what happens there. It’s a little odd to be trying to go back, especially when my editor for the line is now gone, the types of stories they’re doing have changed, & I’ve been away for a while doing something completely different. But I enjoy a good challenge, & I’m kind of enamored of those new Presents-ish titles, so I’m going to give returning to the nest a shot.

Oh, & I finally, finally, finally, mowed the grass. I’m at least a month—possibly two—overdue, but yard work is such a hassle. And it’s not like it won’t still be there a few weeks or even months from now, right? (See how good I am at prioritizing? ) Of course, waiting so long meant that I had to go over everything at least twice to get it all cut, & when I finished, my mower looked more like I’d been plowing snow than cutting grass on account of all the dandelion seeds, but hey… It’s my yard; I can do whatever I want, right?

And that about sums it up for me! Now it’s your turn to share the things you’re thankful for this week. I hope it’s a really long list.

Posted in Super Sunday | 5 Comments »

sexy Saturday

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

Just how Mistress Heidi likes her men…

Posted in Sexy Saturday | 3 Comments »

a Friday funny

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

Thanks to our own Darling Ellen for this week’s Friday Funny. And a word of warning: DO NOT attempt to drink while reading this or it will end up all over your computer screen.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror—make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah sponge, wide loofah sponge and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower… Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the “woo-woo” sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her, and make the “woo-woo” sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

Posted in Friday funny, easily amused | 5 Comments »

what does your butt say about you?

Thursday, May 21st, 2009

Top Ten Tuesday

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

So Mother’s Day was last week, &—confession time—I did absolutely nothing for my mother. Yeah, yeah, I know; I’m a horrible daughter…so sue me. But the fact is, I did something really nice & special for her last year that I knew she would like (the big, stealthy porch swing surprise , remember?) but couldn’t think of a darn thing she needed or would like this year. And in my defense, my mother hates knick-knacks & things she can’t use, so she wouldn’t want me buying her junk just so she could have something to open, anyway. I also didn’t offer to take her out to eat because the idea of going to an overly crowded restaurant on a holiday makes us both shudder. I figure one of these days, she’ll see something she likes & I’ll let that be my Mother’s Day gift…or we’ll go out to eat & I’ll pick up the tab.

But what I did do…whether she’ll actually appreciate it or not … is compose a Top Ten list in her honor. Ready for this?

Top Ten Quirky Things About My Mother

(a.k.a. Madame Mommy Dearest )

10. My mother thinks you can make anything low fat & healthy to eat if you just “blot it with a paper towel.”

9. My mother is a cleaning fanatic. She moves things all the time so she can dust & vacuum around them…but then can’t remember where she put the items later. (Which drives her nuts, & I say is merely her punishment for never being able to leave anything alone for more than five minutes.)

8. My mother is a librarian to her core. If she spots an item in a store that isn’t in its correct place (you know, like a package of cookies in the cereal aisle) she will stop what she’s doing & return it…or make you put it back for her.

7. My mother hates fiction. The only fiction she reads is mine (& I suspect she does that only under duress) & she won’t watch movies or sitcoms more than once—if at all. But she will watch the exact same true crime shows sixty-two times. I keep wanting to scream at her, “The guy is still dead! He doesn’t come back, & the identity of the killer doesn’t change!”

6. My mother loves to bake, but cannot follow a recipe. And when I say “can’t,” I mean won’t. She always thinks she can improve upon it or do something differently & have it turn out better. Um, not always, Mom. Not always.

5. My mother is a terrific baker, but—in the same vein as #6—she can never manage to make the same thing the same way twice. If she makes a batch of cookies that are absolutely fabulous & you ask her to make them again a couple months later…they will not taste the same. They’ll be edible & maybe even yummy, but they will not be the same as you remember them. We call her the Hit-or-Miss Baker.

4. My mother loves to wash dishes. Seriously. She won’t own a dishwasher because they waste too much water (okay, I’m totally with her on that one ) & she likes to do dishes by hand.

3. When I turned eighteen, my mother bought me a subscription to Playgirl magazine. (Can you say coolest mom ever?!? )

2. Once, when we were staying in a hotel in another state, I was flipping through channels & discovered that the adult channel wasn’t blocked. And my mother says, “You’re an adult now, I don’t mind if you watch porn.” (Yeah, that one isn’t so much cool as creepy. But thanks, anyway, Mom.)

1. My mother hates black cats with pink bummie holes. She doesn’t understand why God would do such a thing & thinks she should be allowed to take a black Sharpie marker to them to help the skin blend in. (Note: When I say “hate” you know I don’t mean hate-hate; she loves all kitty cats, regardless of fur or bummie-hole color…she just has feline fashion issues. )