the super mother’s day surprise spectacular

To all the mommies out there…of both two-legged & four-legged children, thankyouverymuch

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This year, I pulled off what I consider to be a truly awesome & spectacular surprise for my mom. It helps, though, that my mother wanders around fairly clueless most of the time. Otherwise, I really suspect she would have caught on.

She mentioned recently that she’d really like a new swing. You know, one of those really big, all-weather kind for a porch or deck. Well, I’m clueless when it comes to that sort of thing. I’m not I’ve even ever been in the lawn & garden section of a store, let alone gone shopping for lawn & garden items.

Now, ask me to track down a bottle of nail polish or some chocolate chip cookies, & I’m all over it. But outdoor furniture? I don’t think so. (What can I say? I’m 90% girlie-girl.)

So I mentioned this to a neighbor, who happens to be a bit more “home improvement” savvy than I am. Or rather, she has a husband who is. One of those guys whose second home is, like, Lowe’s, y’know? *vbg* And because she’s a complete & total doll, she put him on the case.

For the next several days, I get phone calls, drop-ins, & text messages. Do you want something like this or like this? What’s your price range? He sent a picture, what do you think? Ever the clueless bunny, I stupidly respond to each with, “yeah, sure, looks good, whatever.”

So Neighbor’s Hubby goes ahead & buys a big ‘ol swing, hauls it home in his truck, & we stealthily try to synchronize a time when my mom won’t be home. Fate plays a big part, here, because there was one day this past week when she was going to be away long enough for Operation Deck Swing to take place.

She leaves. He backs his truck into the yard. We hussle around like little Pac Man ghosts trying to get all the pieces out of the box, up on the deck, to read the instructions (which, of course, came only in Japanese & Swahili), & get The Swing together before Mom returned.

This would be the part, by the way, where I shamefully admit that I was about zero help. My big contribution was to point & say, “There’s the deck. If you need a cup of coffee, a screwdriver, or a Band-Aid, let me know.” (And I wasn’t 100% sure I could have come through with the screwdriver part of that unless, you know…he was talking about orange juice & vodka. )

In just a couple hours, he had the entire swing put together. It really is nice & I knew Mom would like it. I told them not to say anything, though, if they talked or ran into Mom. I wanted to see how long it would take her to notice it on her own, & if she hadn’t by Mother’s Day, then I’d have taken her out & shown her myself. This would be where her lack of observance comes in handy, because even though the swing is massive…it’s a three-seater & even has small tables at each end…I knew she wouldn’t discover it unless she happened to go out around the back of the house & look straight at it.

Didn’t happen the first day. It rained the next & I figured I was in the clear until at least Saturday, I might even get all the way to Sunday morning. But then I get this call. She discovered it late Friday, quite by accident…because just as I suspected, she’d had no intention of going outside in the rain. But she caught a glimpse of it through a back window &–get this–thought a neighbor had put it there because the neighbor had both a glider & a swing, & Mom thought the neighbor was maybe going to ask her later if she was interested in taking it. (If only we could all have neighbors who shower us with large pieces of lawn furniture & other assorted gifts, right? *g*)

I had to explain it to her, very slowly & in great detail. For about an hour, I’m not sure it quite sank in. But then, when it finally registered, she was very excited. Turns out, it’s the exact swing she’d been looking at on her own. Not sure how she’d have gotten it home & put together, but I am glad Neighbor’s Hubby made an excellent executive purchasing decision. And even though it was raining, she grabbed a towel to cover the wet cushions & sat on it for a few minutes until her butt got soggy. She’s also been diligently watching the weather forecasts to see when it will be nice enough for her to sit out there & read, knit, drink a cup of coffee, watch the birds & squirrels & chipmunks…

Yes, this was perhaps my greatest (& most successful) surprise gifting ever. Never could have pulled it off on my own, though, that’s for sure And Mom says I’m welcome to use the swing myself. Maybe. Once in a while. If she’s not already out there.

Guess it will mainly be rainy day swinging for me, huh?

a Friday funny

Awww. Wish these guys showed up on my cell phone instead of those stupid bars!

Humorous Pictures

a new review (well, sorta)

Had brain-melting internet issues most of the morning & afternoon, which is why I’m later posting than planned.

And actually, this whole topic is a little later than it probably should be, since I first saw this review the day before I left for the WRW Retreat. I only now had a chance to go through the June issue of Romantic Times BOOK Reviews more thoroughly, though.

(I’ve been advertising HOTTER THAN HELL as a July release, by the way, but apparently since it’s street date is technically June 28th, it’s considered a June release for the mag. So we’ll go with it, right? )

The collection received a very nice, 4-star review–which is always a good thing–with the quote, “With this incredibly talented lineup, readers are in for a wild and varied ride!”

The entire review reads:

With this incredibly talented lineup, readers are in for a wild and varied rid! The 12 stories run the gamut from supernaturally sexy to sad and disturbing, with no shortage of intriguing characters and creative plots. The real challenge facing these authors is delivering a uniquely satisfying tale in such a short space. For the most part, they succeed amazingly well. This format is a great way to get a feel for an author’s individual style and voice.

The reviewer isn’t wrong about the challenge of writing a compelling, full-blown story in so few pages, that’s for sure. But what did she mean by, “for the most part”? LOL

And then there’s what she had to say about my story, “Curse of the Dragon’s Tears,” in particular: The remaining authors include Tanya Huff, Susan Krinard, Heidi Betts, Lilith Saintcrow, Susan Sizemore, Carrie Vaughn, and Linda Winstead Jones.

That’s right. That is the extend of my mention in the review. I got kind of a kick out of it, actually. And as I’ve maintained from the very beginning, I’m happy just to be involved in this project, riding the coattails of so many other talented, big-name authors, & also to have gotten the chance to write something paranormal & a little darker than usual. It was fun.

question of the week

This seems like an appropriate topic, since we’ve got a Romantic Suspense author visiting this month…

While I was away at the WRW Retreat, I sat with another girl who’s writing Romantic Suspense, & she complained that the genre seems to be moving more & more into the gory, gruesome, serial killer-type stories & away from the simple edge-of-your-seat, high-tension kind.

Well, you know me…the gorier, the better. But not everyone, I suppose, has my high level of tolerance for fictional blood & guts.

She even mentioned that she’d been reading a recent book by an author she loved, but was unable to finish it because it turned out to be just too gruesome for her. (And I, of course, wanted to know the title & author so I could read the whole thing. *g*)

So here are my questions for you today:

How gory is too gory for you, when it comes to Romantic Suspense?

Do you prefer a good, blood-spattered serial killer-type Romantic Suspense or something a little less body fluid-laden that maybe focuses on action/adventure, maybe involving military or techno suspense? (I know there are other types, by the way, but darned if I can think of some decent examples at the moment.)

If the blood & guts thing makes you a little queasy, are you disappointed that some of your favorite Romantic Suspense authors are moving more in that direction? (Because that does seem to be the trend, doesn’t it?)

And please name some names here. Let me know which authors you love no matter what…which authors you’ve always loved, but who are maybe getting a bit too gruesome for your tastes…etc.

If you have suggestions for really good Romantic Suspense authors/titles that keep you on the edge of your seat, but aren’t filled with guts & gore, please pass that along, too. I’d love to be able to make a few recommendations to my friend, since I think she feels like she’s running out of stuff to read that won’t give her nightmares. Either that, or she’s a little gun-shy, worried that any Romantic Suspense she picks up may end up with someone quite literally losing their head.

meet Jeanne Adams

NOWHERE TO HIDE

Dana Markham is up against a cold-blooded killer who knows her all too well: Donovan Walker. Wanted for drug trafficking, armed and dangerous—he’s also her ex-husband. What she knows about him could land him behind bars forever…or put her and her young son in an early grave if Donovan finds them first. Dana’s one chance lies with a man she barely knows at all. Tall and darkly sensual, Caine Bradley is an undercover FBI agent who’s been posing as Walker’s henchman. Compelled to work with Caine to lure her ex out of hiding, Dana must fight against her own raw, urgent needs. But is he who he says he is? Her passionate desire for him could be her salvation—or her greatest mistake…

It’s wonderful for a writer to live near Washington, DC as I do. The research resources are fabulous, the scenery is great–complete with monuments, gorgeous public buildings, and the most amazing, weird, convoluted, political people–and I get to be here with the most awesome family, friends and neighbors in the world. I live here with my wonderful husband (he’s my personal hero), my two delightful, growing-too-fast sons, and my silly Dalmatian.

As former marketing executive, I worked for research parks, governmental concerns and not-for-profits, (which is also great fodder for the writer’s mind!) but now I’m happily employed as a consultant and full-time writer. I’m a member of Romance Writers of America, Science Fiction Writers of America and Thriller Writers. I’m also a proud member of the Washington Romance Writers, an RWA chapter, as well as several online RWA chapters.

One of the most enjoyable things I get to do as a consultant and writer, is to teach. I enjoy connecting with my clients, readers and other writers. In addition to my marketing work, I’ve gotten degrees in interior design and landscape design, which I use to teach a class on Creating the Write Environment. Having also worked in the funeral and cemetery business for nearly thirteen years, I teach a class on Body Disposal. I’m also very proud to work with bestselling author Madeline Hunter to teach a class on Surviving Almost There. You can check those out on the Classes button.

Being part of the Ad(d)ams Family, as you can imagine, Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love to work in the garden, run my Dalmatians, hang out with my family, and write. Other than that, as another, more famous author says, the rest is subject to change without notice.

###

It is my pleasure this month to introduce you to debut romantic suspense author, Jeanne Adams, whose first book, DARK AND DANGEROUS, will be released from Kensington Books in June and just received a much-coveted 4 1/2 Top Pick! from Romantic Times BOOKReviews.  (Congratulations again, Jeanne!)

Jeanne & I are both members of the Washington (D.C.) Romance Writers chapter of RWA (though she lives much closer to that area than I do!), so I’ve known her for a while now & get to see her at least once a year at the WRW Retreat. And now I kinda get to say “I knew her when…”, which makes me doubly thrilled to have her here on the eve of her official launch into the wild & wacky world of publication.

Jeanne has also graciously offered to give away a “Dark and Dangerous Coffee and Chocolate Gift Pack” to one lucky winner during her guest blog. (There’s nothing more dark & dangerous than coffee & chocolate, right?) And the gift pack will consist of a $10 Starbucks gift card, a two-piece Godiva snack set, & a DARK AND DANGEROUS bookmark & autographed cover flat. Wow, that’s quite a prize–thanks so much, Jeanne!

So be sure to drop by on MONDAY, MAY 19TH for a chance to win all those awesome goodies & to chat with Jeane about murder & mayhem, the super-sexy cover of DARK AND DANGEROUS, & her road to publication. It’s going to be a blast!

Visit www.JeanneAdams.com to read more about Jeanne & her books.

and the winner is…

The past couple days have been pre-arranged posts, which wasn’t very exciting, but it did give me a chance to do some running around & catching up.

On Thursday, I had a one-month Lasik follow-up appointment, & everything seems to be going well. My vision is “even better” than at the previous appointment (which I’m a little confused about, since they said it was 20/20 then & 20/20 now, but maybe I got one more letter right on the chart or something LOL) & the doctor said my recovery is “practically perfect.” I get that a lot, have you noticed? My orthodontist & oral surgeon both say I’m practically perfect, & now my eye doctor. To which I replied, “Practically perfect in every way, one would hope.” And he said, “Both before & after the surgery, right?” That’s right. It’s good of him to recognize that & treat me accordingly.

Then yesterday, I was bird-sitting. I think I’ve mentioned before that my neighbor works with injured & orphaned wildlife–mostly birds & chippies & squirrels, because the larger animals are kept & cared for by another woman. Right now, my neighbor has a baby cardinal, so while she was gone for the day, I ran over every hour to give him a few squeezes of stinky liquid food. He’s just adorable, though, stinky food not withstanding. You can tell he’s hungry because he starts chirping as soon as you get near his cage. Then he gobbles down his food & opens his mouth, chirping for more until he’s completely full. Cute, cute, cute. And he’s even starting to get a little red in his feathers, so we’re waiting to see whether it turns out to be a boy robin or a girl robin.

And today, alas, I’ve got a plumber coming. An off-hours, friend-of-the-family plumber, thank goodness, not a found-in-the-Yellow Pages, charging-for-weekend-hours one. And only to fix a loose faucet fixture, not to stop the gushing flow of water from a broken pipe or anything. (Ya gotta be thankful for small favors where you can get them, right? *g*)

But you don’t really care about any of that. Whatlastscan.jpg you’re waiting for is the announcement for the Earth Day Giveaway I set up before I left for my conference last week.

Well, I’ve finally had a chance to go over all the comments–not respond to them just yet, but go over them –& line up the biggest winners. And here’s the deal as it pertains to prizes: I’ve got three different items lined up, hopefully enough for everyone, as I’d like everyone who posted in response to the contest to get something. Which means that I need all of you who commented to the Earth Day Giveaway post to contact me with your names & mailing addresses so I know where to send the prizes, & I’ll start sending everything to everyone until I run out, starting with the person who posted the longest list of their Earth-Friendliness & moving down.

By my calculations–& in case you’re keeping track–that would be Fedora, Crystal & Laura tied, Ruth, Jane, & then Ellie, Lesha, Kim H., & Sonya with only one or two each…although I’m sure you all do more, you just didn’t list everything, right?

And just so you don’t think I’ll be sending something crappy *g*, the prizes include adorable refrigerator magnets that say “Save the Earth. It’s the only planet with chocolate.” (See above…that’s exactly what they look like.) Reusable canvas totes that say, “Paper or plastic? Neither!” (I love these & have about sixty of my own. ) And fabulous, fun t-shirts with Earth-Friendly messages. (See the pics that were posted with the original Earth Day Giveaway post, since I got them from the t-shirt fronts. And those of you who posted the most ways in which your work to save the Earth on a daily basis have a preference or see one you really love, let me know. I can’t promise anything, but I will try to send you the one you want most, if I can. )

So that’s the deal. Hopefully the prizes will be worth waiting all while I was gone & then until I had the chance to do the math–blech–& post the winners.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

a Friday funny

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I know the feeling. I think I ate something this week that had me making that face.

drink of the month

Okay, I just realized I sort of dropped the ball on this one. Haven’t posted a Drink of the Month since February. My bad.

So this, of course, means that I have to launch back into things in a big way. Come up with something really good. Something fun. Something sexy. Something yummy.

How about this?

Sweet Patootie

Glass: Rocks With Ice

2 oz Gin
1 oz Triple Sec
1 oz Orange Juice
Shake and Strain

Give it a shot (no pun intended) & let me know what you think.

no lobby & no A/C make Heidi a very cranky girl

Okay, I’ve had a wee bit of a nap, gotten a few must-do-immediately tasks crossed off my To Do list, & am ready to chat about my weekend at the Washington (D.C.) Romance Writers’ Retreat.

This is, hands down, one of my favorite conferences of the year. Maybe because it’s not so much a conference as a weekend getaway. Yes, there are agents & editors in attendance. Yes, there are workshops. But the tone of the event is so relaxed, I don’t feel as though I have to pack my very best clothes or be ever on the alert for situations where I could open mouth & insert foot. Although, there was one small foot-in-mouth situation over the weekend. I was relating a recent conversation I’d had with my editor to a friend & remarked that “people can be so darn touchy about the Nazis,” but I promise you it was completely innocent & not nearly as horrific as it sounds. I was joking, for God’s sake. (Think funny Nazi references, like in The Producers.) Nevertheless, another woman at the table apparently wasn’t amused & quickly made an excuse to leave. After which, said friend & I decided that was all for the best, anyway, & shared a hearty laugh over people with no apparent sense of humor. My friend–being the loyal & devoted friend that she is–was even a bit offended on my behalf that someone else would be offended by me when she had to know I was only A.) relating a story about something that had happened the previous week & B.) kidding! “She just doesn’t know you well enough,” was BFF’s opinion. And she’s right. My sense of humor is often taken the wrong way, at least until people get to know me a better. I’ve even had people tell me that when they first met me, they were a little put off by my exuberance or offhand remarks…until they realized I was only joking or that buzzing around like the Energizer Bunny is my natural state of being. But you know what they say… To know me is to love me. Or not. LOL

The biggest reason I like this Retreat so much,though, is related to what I said above–it’s one of the only times I get to spend quality time with one of my best friends, who lives about three states away. She almost didn’t make it this year, too, which would have been an absolute nightmare for me! Stealing a line from Will & Grace, we have a running joke that “you’re my new best friend, call me every five minutes!” & that’s about what we’re like when we get together. We sit together for meals, pre-arrange times & locations to meet each other first thing in the mornings, & skip workshops just so we have longer to chat before the end of the weekend. Sometimes we even hie off where others aren’t likely to discover us & intrude. We’re attached at the hip & proud of it, thankyouverymuch. Because whenever we get together, we come up with the most awesome story ideas & career plans, & that’s the sort of energy that doesn’t really happen over the phone or through e-mail or when others are around. And God help anyone who tries to get between us. (Don’t make me bring up Nazis again, cuz I’ll totally do it! )

Unfortunately, this year’s Retreat couldn’t be held at our usual haunt because the hotel is being restored, so we had to meet elsewhere. It was a nice place, don’t get me wrong, but it just wasn’t the same. It was bigger & more spread out, with no central gathering area where folks could sort of run into each other or find someone they were looking for. Always a disappointment at conferences where the main goal is networking, but I did still manage to run into…WARNING: blatant name-dropping about to commence…Nora Roberts, Donna Kauffman, Jennifer Enderlin (Executive Editor at St. Martin’s Press, Tracy Farrell (Executive Editor at Harlequin/HQN), & Victoria Alexander. And I met some new folks, too, which is always nice.

The worst part, though, was that there was no air conditioning the entire weekend! In a huge, updated conference center that had all of the other expected amenities. Ack! Apparently, the power station doesn’t allow them to turn it on until mid-May, but methinks they should take global warming into account & revise that policy, considering it was in the high eighties both Friday & Saturday (it rained Saturday night, which cooled it down for Sunday, thank goodness) & it was 85 degrees in the rooms, with windows that didn’t open! Oh. My. God. The hotel did their best. They provided fans for the rooms & even sent someone to Wal-Mart to buy up more, but they weren’t very big & didn’t really cool things off much until late evening.

In case you haven’t guessed, I don’t handle heat well; I was positively melting. And the excessive temperatures definitely had an impact on the Retreat experience because it made us all cranky & groggy & not want to do much of anything. And the sweating–dear God, the sweating. I remarked at one point that I was wearing a water bra…it hadn’t started out that way, but I was definitely swimming then!

As I mentioned, I didn’t hit many workshops. There were a couple of interesting presentations that everyone attended, but that’s about it. Mostly I just sat, relaxed, & chatted with friends. At one point, a few of us had a fun, intensive brainstorming session to plot out another friend’s next book, & I had an exceptionally yummy Long Island iced tea the first night that made me only a little woozy on an empty stomach.

The Lasik/no contact to deal with thing was fabulous, by the way! I still had to use drops every once in a while, & people sometimes asked what was wrong with my eyes, but otherwise it was amazing to be able to wake up at 6am & be able to see, go about doing my make-up without first fighting with darn lenses & suffering with the inevitable red eye the rest of the day. Or those fun times when a contact just wouldn’t go in easily & then it burned or itched or felt like it had a piece of grit on it. Of course, while applying make-up the very first day, I of course had to stab myself in the eye with my mascara wand…you knew that would happen, right? It was a new mascara, too, with an oddly shaped wand I wasn’t used to, so I think that was part of the problem. I was a little concerned at first, since scratching your cornea isn’t something doctors recommend even before Lasik surgery, but the fuzziness went away after a few seconds & everything seems all right. I was much more careful after that, too, believe me.

Oh, & at the end of the Retreat, I won two baskets in the fundraising raffle. (I only bought $10 worth of tickets this year, too, which is probably the least I’ve ever spent trying to win stuff! LOL) Whoo-hoo. Cat baskets, of course, filled with oodles of awesome kitty-cat stuff. When I won the second one, I came back to the table with my booty & said, “Geez, & I don’t even like cats.” Everyone gasped, eyes going wide. Then why did you buy tickets for them?!? they all wanted to know. Sheesh, some people are so easy!

Then, sadly, it was time to head home. Needless to say, I got exactly zero reading or writing done the entire weekend. Not that I really expected to, although I did drag along two books & my AlphaSmart. I was really hoping to finish Blood Dreams or whip out half a chapter somewhere along the way. Sigh. I live in a state of perpetual optimism, it guess.

The conference has only been over for three days & already I can’t wait until next year. And though I already miss my BFF, too, there is a chance I’ll get to see her in July at the RWA conference. (Fingers crossed & perpetual optimism firmly in place. *g*)

So now it’s back to catching up on To Do items & . Part 2, of course.

(P.S. I haven’t forgotten about the Earth Day Giveaway. I’ll post about that soon–possibly over the weekend?–I promise. )

I’m home, but I’m sleepy

Well, I’m home from my weekend conference, but I’m not sure I’m recovered yet. I’m still groggy, my suitcase is still in the middle of the kitchen floor, & even though my To Do list is about ten pages long at this point, I can’t seem to work up the energy to do much of anything.

I will be posting a re-cap of the Retreat, though…don’t expect much, it was a very lazy, laid-back weekend–my favorite kind! … & following up on the Earth Day giveaway just as soon as I have a few more of my ducks in a row.

Stay tuned for more after my nap…

be afraid. be very afraid.

That’s right, I’m 100% evil. Got a problem with that?


You Are 100% Evil


You’re the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you!

How Evil Are You?

how evil are you?

It’s okay, don’t be afraid. You’re at the Mistress Heidi blog…it’s safe to admit the true level of evil lurking in your soul.

I did.


You Are 40% Evil


A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

That’s right. I may look innocent, but I’m bad to the bone…or at least the tenth layer of dermis. So watch out! What makes you think I won’t cut you?!?

a Friday funny

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I could certainly go for a nice paw massage. Although, I tend to carry tension lower, in my gluteous maximus region.

Lucas & Megan ride again!

Got some neat news last week. Now, you may have to search your memory back, back, back to the year 1999 (an eon ago, I know *g*) to when I was first writing historical romance rather than the contemporaries I’m doing now, but y’all remember my “Rose” trilogy, right? CINNAMON AND ROSES, A PROMISE OF ROSES, & ALMOST A LADY. Of course you do, they were mah-velous!

Unfortunately, none of them remained in print very long, & ever since they became hard-to-find, I’ve gotten numerous letters & e-mails from readers asking where they can find a copies, how they can complete their collection, or where they can find my backlist titles because they only just discovered me via Silhouette Desire or whatnot.

And now–weeeee!–I will finally be able to point them to a place where they can buy a copy of one of my historicals, at least, brand new.

A PROMISE OF ROSES is being re-issued this week through both E-Reads.com & Fictionwise.com, two of the world’s leading e-book retailers. (Several of my Harlequin/Silhouette titles are already available at Fictionwise…CHRISTMAS IN HIS ROYAL BED, FORTUNE’S FORBIDDEN WOMAN, BLACKMAILED INTO BED, BEDDED THEN WED, & HEAT WAVE, plus a couple of collections.)

And down the road, A PROMISE OF ROSES will also be released in a trade paperback format at Amazon.com. I can’t wait. If they warn me ahead of time, I’ll be sure to let you know when the new version becomes available there. Otherwise, you may just discover it before I do. *g*

This is super-exciting for me, because I’ve often bemoaned the fact that my historicals went out-of-print so quickly & were no longer available to those who wanted them. But now one of them is available again, & hopefully the others will follow suit soon.

Whoo-hoo!

(P.S. I just got word from my agent that the cover for this e-book edition of A PROMISE OF ROSES is actually going to be revamped–not that this one’s bad –so as soon as I have news about that, I’ll pass it along, too.)

new bookmarks!

I nearly forgot about this, there’s been so much going on lately, but I definitely didn’t want to miss the chance to share my fabulous new bookmarks with everyone.

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Aren’t they awesome?!? I am truly happy dancing over these. And even though the woman’s skin comes across a bit too yellow here (it’s not at all on the real bookmark), I love this illustration so much, I wish I could use it on everything, all over the place.

I was hugely thrilled when I found it because even though the hero in my HOTTER THAN HELL novella is the one with the tattoo (hope that isn’t too much of a spoiler *g*) I thought this was an awesome image to represent “Curse of the Dragon’s Tears.” It’s absolutely, positively ideal, imho.

I’d be happy to send one of these new bookmarks to anybody who’s interested. (I’ve actually sent out a few already, as some of you can attest. )  I’m leaving for the WRW Retreat in Maryland tomorrow, but contact me with your mailing address & as soon as I get back, I’ll see that all the orders are filled. *vbg*

Until then, enjoy. I spent hours staring at this & grinning like an idiot, so you’re welcome to do the same.