modern day chastity belts
I was on the run again today. (In an errand-running way, not a being-chased-by-hired-killers way. Thank goodness for small favors. *g*)And while I was out & about, I came to this conclusion: there are, indeed, chastity belts in circulation today, & I apparently own several.
Of course, the manufacturers can't come right out & call them chastity belts. Oh, no! That sounds much too medieval. So what do they call them instead? Capri pants.
I wore a new pair of capri pants today. Really cute ones with lime & turquoise flowers. And I didn't think much of it when I put them on. But then, as the day wore on, I came to think of these particular slacks--& many pants like them--as medieval torture devices. Or perhaps a secret weapon meant to keep women virtuous.
Why? I'm so glad you asked, because I'm going to tell you!
Because I've worked combination locks that are easier to get into. I've solved the Rubik's Cube in less time than it took me to unbutton & unzip these pants just to go to the bathroom today, I swear to God. They have an inside, "hidden" button. (I have never understood the point of a "hidden" button, anyway, have you?) And then two larger buttons on the outside. (Like one wouldn't have done the job just as well.) Plus a zipper, which was actually the easiest part of the whole contraption to work.
Except! Except that both the dual buttons & zipper are on the left instead of the right. This might be cause for celebration for Southpaws, but it just drives me crazy. I swear, every time I went to the bathroom, people must have thought I fell in. But, no, I was just standing there, fiddling with buttons & left-handed zippers. It felt like I was trying to break into Fort Knox :-p
Of course, I'm not willing to give up on the pants just yet. They're too cute & just perfect for summer. But from now on, I do think I'll refrain from drinking any liquids while wearing them. I mean, who wants to be bothered? :-P
